Thursday, April 30, 2009
was talking to arvie...he's off to dinner, so i have nothing to do again...
i just have this feeling man.
diving into a cold cold pool, try to settle myself in the water, and listen to the noises passing through the water.i feel very calm whenever i did that. so i might just go to any pool and jump in after i take off any valuables and my shoes...probably my top too if no one's around.<- i needa be dry later right.
anyone feeling the same?
and sorry abt my vulgarities these days. i noe having PMS is not an excuse but im seriously pissed and i have limited vocab...
4/30/2009 10:44:00 PM
today met shermin and rina only....others were late.
tired like pig sia today...alr finished my tea before the first break ended.
today cognitive was the suckiest school day so far..
i hate myself man.
lunched with Sabby and Shermin, YTF again...cos i want soupy stuff...they in the end got the same thing.
no comedies from the two of them today, cos it was my turn....
one. my pearls got stuck in the straw, Sabby told me to suck har..., with more strength.
and so i did, and then....
apparently, i cant rmb/dunno what happened.
all i know, pearls were out, bubble tea were splashed over me, the table...
and the three of us just kept laughing..
two, Sabby was 'ransacking' my wallet and came across my primary school student and a Safra card belonging to my brother.
she/shermin then asked who was that.
i thought they were referring the Safra card so i shouted 'I CALLED PAUL AH?"
almost immediately..then they laughed and laughed...it's funny cos of my reaction.
miss pam pm-ed me through gmail today...man, i was just thinking of her. but by the time, i relied to her, she went offline.-.-
then was late meeting them for IG signing up...i decided to join them in Guitar, and be a noob, learning rightie guitar...
Sabby went for Akido too. i was supposed to join her. im still thinking abt it la..
might be useful for my future job..
then we walked to CWP together, they left to meet their friends and i went home.
i was seriously too tired. i can even fall asleep standing, while playing Solitaire and keeping my balance in the train.
homed, dinnered, fell asleep on the sofa while hugging my accoustic guit...classic...
woke up and now blogging...
yea, i stink cos i haven't bathe, but i wont care much since i have the whole night to settle down..
4/30/2009 09:49:00 PM
29th april.
im soooo soooo sooo tired...very...
met up with Nisa and Rina.
got to school and started turtle-ing...
did nothing today...practically copy & paste...
making the cloud was so boring...
and so i was sipping my tea while doing the cloud slowly..
(i've been bringing teabag to school)
anyway, lunched with Sabby and Shermin.
i just love them around. funny things always happen.
in conclusion, we practically were laughing abt half of the time eating.
classic man....
then met up again after school to visit the IG booths...
Sabby joined like Comics, Rina crazily went for 5 IGs.
I wanted to join something either music or sports.
dragon boat is crazy....we all wanted guitar ensemble.
but i cant get in guitar ensemble cos they dun accept lefties.):
so others were still considering...
now still deciding...tmr confirm.
then walked out school with Sabby, Shermin, Rina and Arvie.
and Arvie was so pink with Rina's lappy bag...hah..
got to office and slept there...just too tired.
dinnered and back home.
and i swear i have to stop eating..im eating too much!!!
just got back home after driving to central for banking and shopping@Fairprice.
tired....gonna sleep now...goonight...
it's onto me again.
4/30/2009 01:00:00 AM
Monday, April 27, 2009
12.21am
trying to get to sleep...
wanna die now...
i have like a damn big blister on my left toe thumb (which i burst) and an re-occurring in-grown on the right toe thumb...
i walk like ducky can....
well, anyway...goiing in accordance, met up with clifford on mrt and we were like talking and talking...
i dropped at BV and walked 20mins to holland v with my poor tired and injured feet..
dinnered and bought potatoes home...
settled down...and cook potato for supper...and while doing that, i was playing with my friends, the cats downstairs, with my laser...i've made them run after the pointer, jump up in shock, and run in circles like mad....
i seriously needa sleep now..my eyes are closing...
continue tmr during break...
---------------------------------------------------------------
now waiting for shermin and others to be done...
today was ok...took bus instead of walking...
almost late...science was cheem but still ok...
no one to lunch with so took sandwich up to eat..
and went down again, to accompany Arvie go trcc and i got the twisted fries...
so bored...
4/27/2009 03:33:00 PM
it's very late. few stories to post here...
-------------------------------------------------------------------
and after enjoying a great view of 'show', happening right in front of my back window.
there was this 'boji' china guy hitting a girl at my house downstairs
so my mum and i called the police in...and as we were not the only ones to call the police, three patrol cars and an ambulance came in. and the story goes....
both of us went down to help the girl and some other spectators too.
in the end, no one was arrested and i didnt have the ending reported..
i guess this is why i dun like guys.... they are childish and rash, for fcuk?
oh and im happy cos the police is also investigating whether every chinese staying in the unit below mine is 'legal' or not....yea to that cos they really stink and noise-contributors...
and i could recognise some officers who help us when we had to call the police in last year.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
i was on the phone with cliffy for 02:13:59 time...
i was asking him whether he was going for chapelthon on his birthday and he could accompany me!!!yea...
man, i love you bro!!!thanks for the heart-to-heart talk today...
for the crappings and other topics...
i really appreciate that...
hope we'll do it again some other time.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
i'm super duper tired after working for the whole day running around the whole of central and west singapore...i hope i can get to sleep....but at least today i managed to not let my mind run wild... (:
and sabby suddenly popped up with
"i will scratch your stomach tmr in school"... haha...
weird...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
catch you guys later.
4/27/2009 01:27:00 AM
Sunday, April 26, 2009
cant help laughing at myself...
well, at the very least all the tests i've took all shows that i have the two sides of everything...
proving i have a split personality?haha...good, a valid reason to lock me up.
4/26/2009 08:56:00 PM
cant get to sleep
| Advanced Global Personality Test Results
|
personality test by similarminds.com
4/26/2009 02:25:00 AM
Saturday, April 25, 2009
11.23pm
feel like smoking, and taking drugs...
---------------------------------------
feeling so empty and weak.
i wanna cry...
4/25/2009 08:19:00 PM
the sucky life of mine,
really, really tired of living.
but dun worry, i won't have the guts to jump off the building.
and i also wont slit my wrist again.
talking abt this reminds me of mrs ho.
we had this little talk in the canteen with my wrist in bandage.
she was asking whether was that a slit under the bandage?
and i replied: "no, that's not a slit..it's multiples of slits..hehe..."
here it is...they were in recovering state so wasnt quite deep..
you can't see them on my hand now...
man, after opening up to shermin, i still feel damn down...
(oh and sorry shermin, that you hadda face tt.)
it's like i can 'share' my burdens with no one.
like wad shermin said, i still can be so happy and smilling in front of other.
yea i do that cos i believe there are more people in the world who are in a more worse situation as i am now...
and i try not to bother my friends abt my problem so actually, none of my friends knew abt me.
now other than miss pam and shermin.
i'll put up that sickening 'cheerful' mask again.
yea, im pathetic and sick in the mind..
i envy people who are able to share things with others.
i envy people who are not alone.
4/25/2009 06:47:00 PM
life is tough and a torture when more than 1 woman in the family is having PMS.
4/25/2009 01:01:00 AM
Friday, April 24, 2009
bored and sleepy...
im in macs@ causeway with shermin!!! haha...cos i hadda be at yew tee at 6+..so i decided not to go back to clementi and come all the way back here...she's so sweet to accompany me... hehe.thanks shermin, and for listening to my speech... and i think i had come out of the half of the closet to her...i mean she's the first to know that... for both the matters that i've talked abt when we ate.
joked abt 'gaydar'...hehe... yup, i'll come out of the closet to you guys here when i feel like it, or when i'm serious abt it...see ya.
edited@11.18pm
actually i've came out of the closet to you guys aready...it's in one of my post i've posted this year,2009...hehe...if you guys are very interested, go read the whole thing and analyze it yourself.
4/24/2009 05:23:00 PM
can someone just gimme a drink or a tight slap....
i need something to make me focus...
im sick, feeling dizzy, mind floating somewhere else, semi-blocked nose and feeling nauseous...
very very giddy....
and this is wad i said :' what if someone next to you now is also a lesbian, what would you do?"
4/24/2009 11:06:00 AM
need somewhere to save this
| ISFP - "Artist". Interested in the fine arts. Expression primarily through action or art form. The senses are keener than in other types. 8.8% of total population. |
4/24/2009 09:51:00 AM
Thursday, April 23, 2009
what's with the discrimination of lesbians man?
happy birthday ryan tan and 25b!!!
today, it was kinda fun???at least nothing was negative.
did ppt while lunching cos i didnt wanna eat more than a sandwich.
and did the ws to the best in the shortest time to get some peace.
not much msn today...other than with ryan tan the bdae boy and crapping with sabby.
ryan and i were like saying tgt "oh man, we miss singing on stage and being backstage and stuff"
and after the last incident of ryan meeting a pair of les, today sabby told me she too saw...
then, met up after school. and joey can be my witness of how geeky he was!!!omg...
we walked to MRT together with arvie...
now shermin's needs help on her stupid RJ qn and we'll have to discuss attire later.
then now, my classmate is mentioning abt les again...
man, wad's wrong??? if i were to really appear with my gf, be it positive or negative, would you guys pass comments too???
i'm so totally lil bit swinging mood now, and i got a flu. so now even very small things can make me boil...
4/23/2009 08:50:00 PM
not an offence....cos i feel for....
why is everyone telling me abt lesbians?-.-
4/23/2009 02:46:00 PM
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
class was damn slack today....mentioning that Minh is in my math group...
Happy New Year to me man..
then pasar malam again for rina's watch and round in CP for aircon and home...
home and out for dinner at Sakura...in jeans, same singlet, jacket, and heel..
all in black...like i've just finish attending a wake....
back home..feeling down...and !@#$%(*^$#
i need excitement!
--------------------------------------
im so super dupah tired and i just cant settle my mind down and go sleep...
these few days, a lot of things have been going through my mind nonstop...and they keep staying there..
things that ain't supposed to be happening in my life, at least for my current stage of life...
it would feel better if there's someone next to me... not meaning to have a bf...
but maybe just a friend or someone to be there for me...
i'm just too tired...
4/22/2009 12:40:00 AM
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
just finished 'lunch'...with Shark, Arvie, Rina, Joey, Nisa and the guys..
that is after a whole big round of MSN conference in class... we were like crapping and stuff...
i got my fav ESPriT again... and i got mum addicted to it too...
hehe...gotta get her one after school...
joey, arvie, shark and i were like talking abt the foreign students in our classes...
and .................. hah....
then dismissed...now i've halfway thru the one slide ppt for the end of the lesson, stating the things that we've learnt today..
will continue later..
busy msn-ing bolin and facebooking with Ryan
4/21/2009 01:13:00 PM
Monday, April 20, 2009
fresh new post.
today, the first day of school, it's soooo slack...
but good la....and im sorry that i just cant stop laughing at Minh in class.
i've been trying damn hard to stop laughing but...
then, some of us met up after school to get rina a brownie with i/c as birthday cake....
then, some of us met up after school to get rina a brownie with i/c as birthday cake....
we had to like hide away from rina and borrow lighter from ppl...
then joey, shermin, rina and i went to pasar malam for a while...and then got pissed at the Translink station...
then Sab, who pangseh-ed us for her bf met us at the station and took MRT tgt...and blablabla...
and i got a sms from ryan on the train saying, 'there is like a pair of lesbian, sitting next to us.'i was like WTF...i totally felt weird inside of me but, i still called back and joked around...
im so bored now...cos i have nothing to watch now and i so dun wanna waste time waiting for the show to load....
shermin, sab and i were like "wad to wear, wad to wear''...in the end, after a long time, i decided to think abt it when i wake tmr...
bored bored bored...
903-揸住(櫻)槍嘅門神
揸住(AK)槍嘅門神
haha
4/20/2009 10:59:00 PM
i just cant believe that i accidentally switch off my laptop after loading one full episode of ........
i've waited for like bloody hell long...shit.
this is why life is so demoralising....!@#$%^&*
i hate myself man...
4/20/2009 10:57:00 PM
yea...forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RINA!!!!
the first FIFTEENer birthday of the year...
yea... bought her a brownie ice-cream...
and man, i'm gonna get an ESPriT everyday!...
it cost like $2 in school...
4/20/2009 03:58:00 PM
focus.
im in class now, the first day of school...
things are so much diff from sec sch...
and such things just makes me feel that i needa act like an adult..
man, i'm so not ready for all these and it just comes sweeping my feet off.
staying focus in class for the past 2 hours is getting me uptight.
or just making me feel uneasy...
while i try so hard to complete the task done, my mind just floats everywhere...
to anyone, to any place...
.........................................................................
4/20/2009 10:40:00 AM
Sunday, April 19, 2009
someone just made me very demoralised and i just feel like running away.
what does me, running my own life, has anything to do with anybody else?
there's no link. even if it links, live with it or get out of the way!
i felt so 'shitty'.
4/19/2009 10:36:00 PM
bored and giving my eyes a break from play ridge racer on my psp.
here's what i drank ytd...ytd was like a release?, a break.
lunch at NewYorkNewYork@ West Coast Plaza.
dinner at Sakae Sushi@Clementi City Vibe.
i've been always posting on food ordered and food that i make.
so this time round, the drinks!
this is the erm...Iced Ultra-Rich Chocolate Velvet.
it's smooth, but i expected it to be more chocolate-y.
then this is my fav. ESPriT.
the raspberry was from Coffee Bean@Tiong Bahru Plaza
and the blueberry was from last night's Sakae.
and i swear there's something wrong with me...
im eating so little! and i still feel nauseous.
~~~
4/19/2009 06:16:00 PM
off to sleep with thunders roaring.
4/19/2009 04:34:00 AM
since im so bored.
since im so bored, here are the super duper blurred photos from my phone...
they are super blur...lousy phone of course got this 'quality' la..
if you want these pictures, i'll put them at my flickr and go get them yourself...
these are while playing at one of the stations...
then now are the groupies...
Sab and i have our thinking caps on...
side track. Shark with her self-shot with trying to take pic for us...
then these two are while the whole RP year 1s in the lawn , having GIANT picnic.
it's raining now...
4/19/2009 03:26:00 AM
and bolin handed me the task of organising the monthly gathering...
i should make everyone go do something stupid.
this gathering has been going on for two months and both occasions we have been having tom yam ban mian...
i need to think...
4/19/2009 02:11:00 AM
i'm feeling very nauseous these days...
but no, i ain't pregnant.
im blogging in different posts cos im bored and cant get to sleep...
and i needa talk to myself...
4/19/2009 12:41:00 AM
abt me.
schizophrenic.
mentally unsound. screwed up thinking.
emotionally unsound.
that's *ucked up me.
laugh-er.
humorous.
happy-go-lucky.
that's how people sees me.
i'm pathetic.
4/19/2009 12:33:00 AM
bored and sleepy...
but i just cant get to sleep...
having nothing to do...and hating myself...
things are just not getting better...
when life's getting harder...
when laughing becomes a hard chore...
im getting back to the old Cheryl where she wears a mask and be cheerful...
*uck...i hate that...
it's just coming back, i've spent like a year to get rid of this feeling and it just comes back...
and i'm sinking right in.
no faith in God, no faith in anything...
this just *ucks up my whole life.
4/19/2009 12:10:00 AM
Saturday, April 18, 2009
am i supposed to thank god that im playing my psp again?
haha...today was just so bored that i dug my psp from dunno where and charged it and played it..
very old games but still... L-ing now
4/18/2009 10:58:00 PM
the happier ones.
i shall focus on the happy things today.
Today is SO fun!!!!haha….
especially the JAM & HOP!!!!
Luckily I stayed till the end…AWESOME!!!!
Joey, Rina, Nisa, Shermin, 3 other SIT seniors, Arvi, Sharq & me were like dancing like crazy… haha.
Shaking our butts, dancing through the dancefloor!
Haha… they took turns to be dance poles… haha…
Joey and Nisa were the more high ones…
although in the beginning I took long to warm up… hahaha…
this time was the 'highest' time i've danced...
dunno why my headache didn’t kajiao me…
dance, dance, dance...
then there was like a guy who came to ‘pester’ and dance with joey…haha…
danced for like 2+ hours? My legs were breaking.
Well, at least weight was lost cos of persperation…
I came back with like 1.4kg gone…
haha. it was just so hot…
we were like squeezing here and there…
Side note. Saw sarah during lunch. She’s in New Media.
Then later at night during the Jam & Hop, Ryan called me!
Haha… he’s also in RP, but it was just so noisy, I couldn’t hear what course he said he was in… haha…
Forgive me abt the millions of ‘haha’s in the post… I need them, to make a point to make my day happy…
updated@18thapril.
reading my posts again.
the only thing that can make me forget abt everything going on is music.
thinking back, J&H was the only time i wasn't feeling lousy.
my mind is just totally screwed.
4/18/2009 12:01:00 AM
Thursday, April 16, 2009
blogging with one and a half hands because i'm eating my dinner now...
yes, dinner at 11.23pm...
still damn tired...but...
anyway, reached home and bathed...then i L-ed for one ep...
well, so i was at least lil happy for watching...
then, appt from 730pm till 10+pm....yes, i did slacked to blog...
super duper tired...
then, 'dinnering' now...
in your language, i'm dining now...haha...
ok.
i had a sudden feeling of loneliness just now...just for a while...
but, it just came up...and disappeared...
then, i was bored.
so i talked to myself on MS Words...yup, i did...
so i was like listing down how i was feeling, and typed anything that came to my mind...
and then i read it though again and again, and sadly laughed at myself...
i think i'm really getting....
4/16/2009 11:22:00 PM
blog?
im supposed to post the super blurred photos here we took today but i dun think im able...haha...
SIT team Fifteen!!! although you guys dunno my blog...hah...
will miss you gang man...
4/16/2009 09:12:00 PM
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
thanks to Causeway Point MJ, i got a copy of 快樂是免費的。
but, im just seriously too sick and tired to stay awake and watch...
god damn... i need to sleep...
after i watch the DVD.
i'll prob skip L today...<- and im sad to do that.
4/15/2009 09:37:00 PM
Did I mention tt I have an urge to learn italian?
4/15/2009 02:50:00 AM
'Me not speaka the English, what do you want from me?'
well, that's from Karina Lombard. i just needed something to cheer me up and i saw this quote.
i'm feeling moody and just feel like singing tons of sad songs...
probably because i have to go school tmr for somewhat of orientation.
great, im getting emo again...damn, and i have to configure my lappy again...
i think i'm ....
4/15/2009 01:42:00 AM
Saturday, April 11, 2009
wishlist updated.
here...will do it soon on my column.
wishlist:
HOCC 《快樂是免費的》 DVD
《東亞華星演唱會》 DVD
Bijou 3 earphones.
etc...
well, at least these three are what i want to have dreadly now...
i just cant stand those normal Apple earphones.
my ears hurts cos they are someway, small for the earphones.
4/11/2009 02:16:00 AM
i need a blog skin change, don't i?
im actually starting to get dizzy, reading my blog...
and understand readers'(if there is) feelings.
well, chose this blog skin cos it's black background.
SAVE ELECTRICITY.<-something like blackle.com
4/11/2009 02:13:00 AM
Friday, April 10, 2009
Insomnia
Canto-since my iPod has handwriting feature.
我諗我有high possibility of having insomnia. & depression. 我知，我知，我
已經唔係第一次講喇。不過我需要提醒自己啊嘛。
最近一直喺度胡思亂想。彷彿似步入老人痴呆。真唔想咁樣。
唔講咁多，費事其他人睇了都有壓力，雖然我知冇人喺度讀緊。
I so love this self talk her and at twitter. Does this add 精神分裂 on
to the high possibility list?
4/10/2009 04:57:00 AM
roar...
why must the CDs be out now? man, i still haven't got any allowance yet.
which means i have to wait till sooner next weekend before i can order 《快樂是免費的》 from www.goomusic.com.hk and the week after is 《東亞華星演唱會》 from HMV.
why ain't i living in hk?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
妖~。
4/10/2009 02:42:00 AM
Thursday, April 09, 2009
如果。。。
i've always been thinking of a lot of 'if's'...
if...
not been updating recently...one point trying to avoid my com so as to not always get pissed when i think of not having any music/photos to enjoy...
i practically have nothing, NOTHING, on my com.
i can only surf the net...and listen to radio.
ventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventvent.......
well, school's starting soon and i'm not looking forward for it...
i dun like the idea of schooling in the first place.
got back to schooling because of the scholarship that i may get from the police force.
yes, you saw it right. police force. this is the first time im saying in public, even to my friends...
in order to get the scholarship, i unwillingly agreed to get into RP and continue my studies...
however, in the end, if, i do not get the scholarship, most probably i'll quit school.
and it ends only whether i wanna quit and mum allows or i wanna quit and mum unwillingly allows...haha...
just wanna end my fucked up life now....
it's getting more and more meaningless.
while i try so hard to find 正能量, it gets taken away...
im tired, very tired.
life sucks, life goes on.
4/09/2009 02:09:00 AM
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
a day to be positive.
today is a day to remind ourselves to be cheerful and be positive.
today is April Fool's. Six years ago today, someone decided to take his own life and left people who loved and cared for him hurt.
He, did not play any April Fool's joke on anyone else. But in some way, God played on him.
Today, we need to be positive and remember someone, Leslie.
In Loving Memory, 
....
.... 4/01/2009 12:36:00 AM
