Saturday, September 16, 2006
 I've never been so tired b4...
school started off this week and I've been sleeping late... 
I practically sleep @ 1 or 2...and wake up 6... 
i just cant get to sleep...and i cant sleep in school... 
this have been affecting me physically and mentally..i think.. 
i have no appetite, my headache and heart pain have became frequent... 
i really feel like crying now...im tired and i have no one to turn to... 
as mrs phua said when she saw me crying in her room, 
"is there anything botherin u?everytime when u are quiet,u seem so sad.i dun see the always-bubbly u..."
i've been putting up a strong front and it is very tiring to pretend... 
i guess im really going back to my old self.going back where i bottle things up in my heart. 
im really gonna break down anytime...im really tired... 
my birthday came and went two days ago... 
i didnt feel any excitment this time round... 
(except the part where my mum bought me everything i wanted on my wishlist and $$ to shop..) 
probably because my heart wasnt positive at all... 
im not getting use without the people tt left me end of last year till now... 
i feel empty inside me...the positive me is gone... 
i stayed back yesterday to see mrs phua off...we had lunch b4 leaving.. 
a group of us wanted to pray for her but didnt...dunno why... 
then we got her up the taxi then we separated..i went home with ryan... 
homed and i started to play the guitar and and fell asleep unknowingly... 
i really need a break... 
my tears woke up long time ago before my heart fell asleep.