cheryl's enteringthebighall1c

2010-02-05T10:32:00.000+08:00

i guess this blog has served its purpose for the last five years.
i dun think im gonna update here anymore...
i'll find someway to keep a copy of all my entries here and cry reading it through.
bye people, see you on http://cwwc.onsugar.com!

Love.

may i have the honour?

2010-01-31T01:07:00.001+08:00

to the girl who dislike stalkers alot,

im still sorry, and i know you hate me saying again, and i hate myself saying this too.

can we meet up for breakfast before the school term ends? maybe the usual milk tea plus tuna sandwich? or i'll order mac breakfast? :)

love, cher.

you drive me crazy!

2010-01-29T11:32:00.000+08:00

so, have been real tired these days.
last time i checked, the major thing that has stressed me the most is finding a school and relevant stuff in melbourne. then i was asked 'have you ever wondered what if you go to melbourne and no one is taking care of me?'
this is one of the things i've enough of. feel so 無奈.
now, plans of going melbourne is on hold for like forever.

and so, norm stuff, my brother's finger is still kinda bad. praying for healing power.
next is, im back using my laoyapok computer that has been with me for 5 years, the one that crashed, the one that motherboard is spoilt.
it's still surviving!! hehe, and i installed windows 7 in it...up till now, it's ok.

went drinkin last night at The True Heritage Brew, The Singapore Sling.
a really great place. Sling is good...lol, michelle and i were totally falling asleep though...tiring day for us.
stopped drinking when i received sms from charmaine who wanted to meet this morning.
lol, stopped in time too anyway. if not drunk i today GG to come to school.
having headache now. frickin' sleepy ah....
i think im gonna sleep now...ahaha, goodnight.

dion 'dee-oink jeh jeh'

2010-01-19T22:35:00.001+08:00

cheryl 'cheng-ting'

i love you too... ♥
i rmb everything too.

HI DION!

2010-01-16T02:11:00.001+08:00

ok fine, dion. i'll find a day and cut my hair bob, just for you.

i've so not been updating my blog, i know.
no one's reading anyway....i can just vent everything out here...hahahhaa
so anyway, back to school...now currently, everything seems fine.
classmates are still as crazy.

ytd math faci totally piss the f off us...just screw him lah...
today was ok....2nd break, dawn acc me to civic singpost to get my article. thanks.
enjoyed the walk we took...seemed so relaxing...and thanks for your chinese compo-makings yea? HAHA
slept for a while and slacked....

after school rushed to imm to send parcel to london to my bro...
and then rushed to SGH to see granny....dunno how to explain what happen to her la.
stayed there till 1130. and left...homed, saw RJ qn, and until now i decided not to do it....so freaking difficult.

there are always times that come almost every other day when i think of the scenarios where if we see each other in special situations like meeting in the hospital unexpectedly and one of us is crying, will you/i go and comfort me/you? i dunno how long this is gonna continue but i know i cant let go.

in auzzie land.

2010-01-09T02:14:00.002+08:00

so im in melbourne.
everything is going smoothly and soon i'll be back in town.
misses everyone. and i needa catch amber before she flies off to melbourne. hahaa
so yep, just a little update here.
im having serious headache, and now a very very uncomfortable throat.
no worries, i can take care of myself. i'll be fine, i hope.
so anyway, i believe i'll be quitting school either this year or next and get ready to come to melbourne to continue my studies.
i know i know, i've been saying for years since sec 3. i guess my mum is serious this time.
but well, i love life here. carefree in the suburbs, interesting culture and i have company here.
fun distant relatives are here.my sixth aunt and family migrated here 3 years ago, and my third aunt's son is here for studies, and now amber too..
hehe.
but it will be impossible to make me leave everything behind in singapore and come here in a short time.

but i think im really considering to come over. i've enough of singapore trash(although i'll be missing some)
im currently looking for schools and stuff over here. we'll see how god plans everything. :D
i cant think much now, had a heavy emotional burden few nights ago. cant take it.

and worse is im sick. right, it's 5.16am here now, i need to sleep. hectic day tmr and after.
Love.

2010-01-03T01:55:00.000+08:00

so,

i've been having a blank start for the year and i do not know how im gonna continue.

i miss class some loads but ah, im only returning next tuesday.

i'm actually going melbourne for urgent matters.

leaving tmr night at 9+ i guess.

so,

end of report. i gotta go pack up.

Love, Cheryl. XD

2009

2009-12-31T23:07:00.000+08:00

2009
i've met and made great friends, some of them i'll never forget in years.
sabby, shermin, eliza and erynne.
sabby, haha, i dont know how to describe. my most cheeky and touchy friend.
shermin, always so blur, will never forget her cute face in the canteen.
eliza, sort of a big sister who just whines alot. sweet and caring and too princess to resist.
erynne, the emo-quiet girl(the beginning only), after that was fuck fuck fuck and what cb, lj all dialects.
out of this four, i spoil and pamper eliza and erynne the most. and because of that, i hurt them the most.
i couldnt get over hurting them until about half a month later. maybe i got numb, or i know that i gotta pull myself out from more pain. we stopped contacting each other cos of an incident six days before my birthday.
but here, i do not know whether they still read my blog(i still read theirs), i just wanna say i miss you two, but there's nothing i can do.

now, im glad enough to have sabby to cheer me up, she's getting cheekier and cheekier as the 28th of each month go by. not forgetting my new classmates whom all are frickin' super-people. dawn, our dear auntie lucy of W45B, never fails to make me laugh every day in school. as well as all the girls in class, claire, zieema and farahin to name some.

this year, friendship seems to be all around me so i guess it's the most important thing for me this year.

BUT WAIT. OF COURSE. IM OLD BUT NOT FORGETFUL.
I STILL LOVE MY BABY AMBER, MY DARLING RALENE, MY SWEETHEART CHARMAINE, MY DEAR DORCAS, MY GIRLFRIEND CLIFFORD AND MY GENIUS BOLIN.

great tips by a cop.

2009-12-28T22:07:00.003+08:00

Because of recent abductions In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...

This is for you, and for you to share with your wife and your children, everyone you know.
After reading these 9 crucial tips , forward them to someone you care about.
It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :

The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2.. Learned this from a tourist guide.
If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM .
Toss it away from you....
Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.

RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.
This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their chequebook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!)

The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE..
If someone is in the car with a gun to your head

DO NOT DRIVE OFF,

Repeat:

DO NOT DRIVE OFF!

Instead gun the engine
and speed into anything, wrecking the car.
Your Air Bag will save you.
If the person is in the back seat, they will get the worst of it .
As soon as the car crashes bail out and run.
It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware:

look around you,
look into your car,
at the passenger side floor ,
and in the back seat

B.) If you are parked next to a big van,
enter your car from the passenger door .
Most serial killers attack their victims
by pulling them into their vans while the women
are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car
parked on the driver's side of your vehicle,
and the passenger side... If a male is sitting alone
in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back
into the mall, or work, and get a
guard/policeman to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.
Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot.
This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control,
ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.
RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:
STOP
It may get you raped, or killed:
Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking,
well educated man, who ALWAYS played
on the sympathies of unsuspecting women.
He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often
asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle,
which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point:
Someone just told me that her friend heard
a crying baby on her porch the night before last,
and she called the police because it was late
and she thought it was weird.. The police told her
'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door...'
The lady then said that it sounded like the baby
had crawled near a window, and she was worried
that it would crawl to the street and get run over.
The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'
He told her that they think a serial killer
has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax
women out of their homes thinking that someone
dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it,
but have had several calls by women saying that
they hear baby's cries outside their doors
when they're home alone at night.

10 . Water scam!
If you wake up in the middle
of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a
burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your
outside taps full ball so that you will go out to investigate and
then attack.

Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbours!

Please pass this on
This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because
the Crying Baby T heory was mentioned on
America 's Most Wanted when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle..
I was going to send this to the ladies only,
but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters,daughters, etc.,
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better to be safe than sorry..
Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or love one's life

2009-12-22T05:07:00.000+08:00

I had a great estimated count for the number of pairs of shoes three
women have at home. Haha. It came to about 120 pairs of heels(yea, so
little right), 20 pairs of covered flats and about another 100 of
others. So lame I'm doing this. It's like 5.06am and I'm not asleep
and I'm hungry and I have to be at uncle's place at 9 so I guess I'll
just cook some noodles and eat and watch tv and grow fat.
Tata.

Love, Cheryl.
Sent from iPod.

2009-12-20T01:08:00.000+08:00

i dont know why, but since i got home from the wedding dinner tonight, my mind is occupied by something that i dont know what it is.
i cant figure out how it feels like or what it is but i know there is something.

seeing the couple 'walk down the aisle' tonight, i was wondering when i will do that.
probably maybe i dont have a chance to do that.

i cant commit, i dont dare to commit.
it is not fun nor good to drag someone down. i dont want to.
i dont think i can.

here comes the school holidays...

2009-12-15T23:37:00.000+08:00

yup, here comes the school holidays...
bad things are, you have too much time to kill, and you have things that when you read again, it will make you cry like nobody's business.

i have nothing much to do today. was out getting stuff and back to the office by late afternoon..
didnt wanted to switch on my lappy cos it will definitely make me fedup...
so, i started to read my diary from the beginning.
everything flashed through my mind, the good times, the bad times, the happy times, the sad times, the love times, the hate times. most of the drama began since i became a student in RP.
things make up so much of what i am now. i've learnt my lesson.
keep all your feelings and emotions to yourself. i need to do this.
oh and, girls and boys, keep away from me... dont let anything happen between us ok..
we can be friends, very close friends, but not those super close friends ok?
i dont want to get anyone into shit.
i makes me feel like i've been cheating of your love and in the end pushing you into an endless pit.
i love people and i love them a lot a lot in fact.

enough of opening up...i have not much 'spare' time now since i have to start helping out with reports tmr...gonna watch some tv...bye

FAcebook, this is for you.

2009-12-11T12:52:00.000+08:00

FAcebook, this is for you.

totally to the point

To those who want me dead....

2009-12-05T16:45:00.001+08:00

You almost had it your way. But thank God for loving me so much. All
was well yesterday until I received a call after buying ice cream for
me and zieema. Everything was ruined. I had to rush home and settle
everything. It is not really a burden that I am maybe the only one
that can settle problems now. We decided to go to office and stay late
to work and to cool down. Everything was on track after that. I asked
Zieema to send me the rj qn as I couldn't access rp-web from my other
lappy.

Then for some reason, I was being lectured by mummy. It was during
then, I lost concious of everything. Luckily I had mum who has the
most experience of fainting to help me. I regained concious minutes
later and had my face full of medicated oil. Now what I gather is that
the reasons why I faint can be I was losing blood(y'know, the monthly
event), my insufficient sleep and being drenched by the rain for many
days.

I should start to take care of myself again.

trying out of new nonstick pan

2009-11-29T21:46:00.002+08:00

so, i was just trying out the new nonstick pan i bought like one month ago.
with an egg and one-thirdth of cheese slice and lots of oil(i was afraid it was gonna stick so.....)

and here's the results.

and nothing sticked on the pan...and i think cos of my excess oil, the texture of the egg was kinda weird...but overall, YEAH!

Tiredness is killing me.

2009-11-17T00:50:00.001+08:00

So superduper tired even after sleep is totally ruining my life. I
just can stop feeling tired. Bleah. So nothing's really up. Just
thought of updating this place since it's a long time. Went swimming
yesterday, came to school today. I'm talking rubbish now actually,
just making my eyes more tired so that I can sleep. I've been banging
my head the whole day, surprisingly no 腦震盪. Haha. Didn't feel right
too. Just can't explain but I just dun feel right. Idk how to tell
others but also just like Dawn said, can't possible say that I'm not
ok when people ask whether I'm ok or not right.
Met Ryan while walking today. Had a little catch up done. Bleah, he
finally cut his hair. Reached home at 1030pm. Then Clifford called at
11+pm. Didn't have a chance to talk long. But still, hehe, BS a lot.
Other than Ryan, I think he's the next one to know me most.
And now I think I can get to sleep already. Goodnight people. Sleep
tight.

Love, Cheryl.
Sent from iPod.

2009-11-14T19:17:00.000+08:00

so long since i've blogged...school and work have been eating me up...
having last UT on monday. super duper worn out.
currently in office, reluctant to type the report.
worn that stupid 3.5inch heels after two months not wearing any heels.
went to Marine Parade for appt just now...my goal is to buy a flat there now, what a magnificent view.
i dun mind being in debt just to stay there.

i've been thinking alot these days, and i dun like how my next year gonna be.
i became more assure of myself, and im glad about that.

i love everyone, alright?
:)

havent been updating.

2009-10-28T13:32:00.002+08:00

(check my tweets more, im using that everyday since it's of more convenience for me.)

weeks since the previous update, school has been fine, busy with family matters and school stuff.
my grandfather was sent to NUH emergency last wed, he's fine now i guess, since he was able to be granted to be discharge. i just dun understand why siblings can just not wanna speak and interact with each other, no matter how serious and urgent the matter was. fuck kinship.

busy shifting and packing things in my room, my uncle's whole family is moving in with us, yes, in a 'four room' flat no bigger than 95sqft. that will be like 9 of us in the flat until his new flat is ready, they will most prob stay with us for at least a month. so no personal space, i will be giving up my bed to my cousin and will be sleeping on the floor since im the earliest to wake up. God will always provide ways out, it's not the worse yea.
oh and in the meanwhile, my beloved grandma is with us too, haha... everyday talking to her and just know that she's around feels great, although i still regret very much that i didnt stay up that night and talk to her before she passed away. it's gonna be 4th anniversary in a few days, but it just seemed like we were still waiting on her yesterday.

end of the month, im so fucking broke. practically negative value now. nothing much on myself.
and IM STILL BEND ON GETTING A MACBOOK
living life like a normal student. no money, no love, stressed and frustrated. yup, goobye.

UPdate.

2009-10-17T02:09:00.001+08:00

it's been a week since i last updated.
so many things happened, and i've been there alone, worn-out, but im glad most has come to an end.
there were also things that i chose to bother myself with, even when i knew that i couldnt do much.

i made myself come home after school some of these days.
the feeling of 6pm at home is just so good, it's definitely different from 6pm in the office or anywhere else, even if it's being alone. i miss the feeling. i was never home, settled down by 6pm for many years. i do not know why my nose suddenly turns sour and my eyes dripping tears when im writing this paragraph..
i miss the feeling of family. i want to feel what a complete family feels like, it will be my biggest regret.

mummy's gonna be back in 6 hours time. hopefully it's lesser stress for me.
i think my body's really cracking up.i still feel very tired after sleeping for 10 hours.
i tried waking up after 7 hours of sleep, but the problem is still there.
googled and found that i might have anaemia, i should take in more iron.
well, at least im 'exercising' now, sometimes walking to school with shermin in the morning.

class has been great, so much better than previous one. at the very least, we are purer and less scheming than my previous class. everyday having fun conferencing in msn, fooling and joking around. they made me laugh so much today, so much.
im making myself keep a distance with anyone in class, dont wanna get close, well maybe except sabby, since we've known each other so much before this semester, haha. i should go live in the rural area, peaceful and away from everything in the city life.

dire quello che vuoi, è la mia vita ed è la tua bocca, non si influenzano reciprocamente.

2009-10-10T03:18:00.002+08:00

Just woke up in the middle of the night, and went straight to switch
on my laptop and ordered Heroes on HMV, without hesitation of how much
the shipping fee was. I don't know what I was doing. Feel a little
regret to not be at hongkong now. I should have gone ahead with my
plan and go for the concert.
Go SuperGoo!!! 做妳想做嘅嘢，第一埸已過，聽日10╱10係重要日子，做好佢，以
天上睇住嘅佢同妳自己為榮！

Happy Birthday, A.

2009-10-09T00:16:00.000+08:00

Feeling very heaty, pekcek and mangzang. Probably because of my teeth.
It ain't getting any better. I feel like I'm on a verge of having my
blood vessels burst. Just hope that it will go away by tmr or else
people will get offended. Ciao.

f my hurting teeth..

2009-10-07T22:02:00.000+08:00

so i was saying how can a freaking metal, steel wire break into two?
it was so annoying poking into my lips...
and so, i whined to my mum over sms and made her wake up at 8am london time, just to msn me about wad i should do.
in the end, i cabbed over from woodlands dunno where to woodlands ave 6 before 4pm and to only find out that the doctor wasnt in. so i made a booking at 7pm.
meanwhile, i bus-ed back to causeway point, got the bag my mother has been dying for, renewed the popular card, roam around the levels and bought sweettalk.
left CWP at 515pm and headed back to ave 6 to take dinner.
sat at the staircase well for an hour and got my braces done.
new wire, and it's blue now. now all the parts of my mouth, except for the tongue is sore.
and i still have my chicken cutlet waiting for me!!! thank god i finished my foot long subway(in three parts).
dinner and tv time!

2009-10-07T14:58:00.000+08:00

third day of school.
today's module is dumbish dumb.

my braces wire broke, metal, broke. and it's really annoying me cos it's poking my lips.
anyway, got foot long subway sandwich to eat. six inch in first meeting, and three inch in second meeting, now left three inch. going to causeway point later to kaikai awhile. haha. getting things for my mama.
i think im broke already, but still, STARBUCKS, im coming!

2009-10-07T00:13:00.000+08:00

Second day of school and I was late. Told myself to wake up when I did at 7.30am. Reached classroom at 9am. Half an hour late. Waffled in 1st break and worked throughout. I totally had a hard time catching up and understanding the problem today. Thanks azrul for the help. Haha. No lunch. Bought a drink to soothe my stomach before I took medicine. And urgh omg, the cream that I had to apply in my eye, made its way to my mouth today alot of times. It was so awful and bitter, a poison stated. Yuck, met up with eliza, the ponten queen, and erryne afterwards and left suddenly to meet my uncle. The stupid cabfare was like fucking $12 to my office from school. I swear I'll never take cab again unless I really need it. Ate lunch and slept for awhile, RJ-ed, chatted with mummy on msn on the journey back home, till just now. Was showing her tv shows. Haha. Tempted her with the pasarmalam food and stuff just below my house. Haha. Evil me. And now, I need my precious sleep very much. Goodnight.

2009-10-04T23:39:00.000+08:00

i dont know what i am doing, i dont know what i can do.

i dont know what i have done, i dont know what i have to do.

just get me out of my life.

ouch.

2009-10-04T01:03:00.004+08:00

my eyes have been in pain for many days, i think i will go blind soon.
even washing them with that Optex or something doesnt help.
i need healthy lifestyle. i just realized that ever since last friday, other than talking on the phone with clifford, i have spoke less than 700 sentences. im not kidding.
and also ever since last friday, i've had ALL my meals alone.
im in pain.

im so tired today, slept for 6 hours and woke up at 8.
went over to uncle's place to pay respects to grandma.
watched richie rich while having round-2 breakfast with cousins.
left at 12. reached home, first thing was to switch on aircon and back to sleep.
woke again at 430pm and off to Serangoon for BBQ dinner. made my own waffles again.
came back all stinky and smelly.now i need sleep but i cant sleep.

im loving the lyrics of Believe in Dreams-Flyleaf.

2009-10-03T02:50:00.001+08:00

Emo is back. I am feeling so negative recently, I just feel very bad,
very negative. There isn't any good feelings about anything I come in
contact with. I hate all those lies. I hate all those memories. Just
fuck my life. It's just so hard to stand up and start all over again.

2009-10-02T20:17:00.002+08:00

i feel so sick...
caught flu because my aircon was too cold.
and i have been sneezing and sniffing for the whole day and im having headache cos of it.
and i also dun understand why even though i have been sleeping early, i still never feel like getting out of the bed...
moday's coming and im just glad that sabby is in my class. a pity that shermin is not with us, it would be fun everyday if we all were together.

Wifi really sucks.

2009-10-01T02:10:00.001+08:00

So I'm here with my iPod, with so much resent I have for my house
broadband and sometimes with my mobile broadband. They can just cut
you off like that, while you are in the midst of doing something
relatively important at one time or another. And it's like you know
you can go tackle the modem or computer about it, but you get pissed
when it happens at a time like this, 1.54am. I'm just gonna send this
email when I can.
So boring day today, had a surprise in my mailbox today. Then
blablabla, went to the bank and guess who I saw, John my good old
friend. Haha, just reminds me of going to his lanshop below mine and
playing CS. Like in primary-sec time!?!?!? And all this ass gotta say
was, 'wow, long time no see, you've gone so fat.' thanks for the
compliment dude.
Gave up on the idea of getting my bus concession tonight and of
getting groceries at central. Went home and slacked in my room, with
the aircon already turned on. And then, ring ring, Clifford called me.
I knew he was up to something, if not he would never call me out of
the sudden. Sorry dude, I can't have dinner with you tmr. Tonight was
the night of secrets, 2+ hours of it, haha, I dun tell his secrets
unless he outs me. Thanks dude, i appreciate it. Wait
till we all gather in December and I will tell the whole group
alright? ;)
Its 2.10am, I wanna give up and go to sleep. Goodnight.

2009-09-29T01:48:00.000+08:00

I'm just a fcuking loser in the world who needs a sense of security.

2009-09-29T01:36:00.000+08:00

urgh, i wanna cry~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my freaking mobile broadband is dying on me, on this smaller FCUKING ACER.
it totally went haywire after it recovered from a 'crashed system'
T.T...guess i've have to bring the bigger acer to office then.
forget it, let's just sum up everything, even if Acer is not the problem, Windows is so fcuked up.
URGH, WHERE'S MY MACBOOK/MAC OS????

did i mention how much my LG Cookie pisses me too? now, this piece of shit is done too, i've enough of the handwriting thing and i hate the typing too..
just blame me for getting so used to typing with ipod....
URGH, WHERE'S MY IPHONE???
now, i really regret not getting an iPhone that my bio-dad wanted to get me instead of this ipod.

who the hell is he now anyway? totally representative of at least 80% of the men out there, fcukers.
men ill-treat their first family, and totally stuck up in their second marriage, are total wimps.

by the way, is the end of the world coming? has anyone counted how many disasters there are already in this year of 2009?

God, please forget us all sinners. Amen.

2009-09-27T23:43:00.000+08:00

i've slept so much yet im still so tired...
wanted to cook dinner tonight but the plans were crashed.
but still, we ended up very full...

gonna sleep soon, will be at the office tmr by 11am, so that michelle can pass me money.
considering for mac breakfast. HAHA.

2009-09-25T13:37:00.000+08:00

slept at 530 this morning.....after i bathed, washing the hair dye away.
now, you can call me cheng thai lian, a thai ah lian.
i mean my hair colour is kinda ok, but i dun think it suits me.

woke at 9 and went to the airport. said byebye and took mrt to clementi to take bus to come to office.
so im now in the office, alone, with the lights on and door locked.
so many things i have to do, but im really tired now.

rules for me:
no going out at all.
come to office everyday.
only sec school friends allowed to visit me in office(totally WTF)

she thinks im 3, making everyone to spot check me in the office as if i were to do anything wrong.god.
in the meanwhile, i gotta freaking entertain her people..

2009-09-24T19:18:00.000+08:00

going blind now, after reading lots of crap online.
totally craving for South Canteen milk tea cos the one im having now is poop.

going to the toilet now for a break, and then i will sort of the errands and work i have.

Sin Lee Bakery, Dover Road, Clementi Central.

2009-09-23T16:56:00.000+08:00

packing and looking at those mooncakes, makes me think back of those days.
i remember how i used to stand in at the cashier and serve the customers, this was during primary school days. everyday facing tons and tons of bread and cakes. and those CNY goodies.
those days are gone. i loved working at the family bakery, waking up as 5am and off to the bakery, sleeping in my school uniform till 1030am, then rush across the road to attend school for the afternoon session, and rushing over the road in the afternoon to be the cashier while attending morning session.
never felt sick facing and eating those donuts and bread and cake, and sneaking into the cake room to steal chocolate cream. and over the years, it caused me to be very, very picky about eating bread and cakes from other places. ours were the best, the best materials, everything handmade, unlike bakery these days.

AL- Things I'll Never Say.

2009-09-22T13:10:00.001+08:00

back from bangkok, tired~~~~...

in the end, i didnt go swimming anyday cos i was either too tired or having hangover from drinking.HAHA.

this trip was 'rushy'... too tired to enjoy anything.

and with the fact that being stucked in a place with the wrong group of people at the wrong timing, everything doesnt get better.

but at least flying SQ was stable, it can get better. i was sitting alone for both flights, with a british man to bangkok, and an american back to singapore. enjoyed my time in the plane the most, not about the men(come on, i dun go for men anymore), it's about being alone. gladly, no riots in our area on saturday, instead came HEAVY. HEAVY rain, causing FLOOD.

no rest, im back in the office today. mummy's flying off on friday and will only be back about mid october. in the meanwhile, im going back to study, and take care of the office. boring and tiring. going to school every morning and going to the office in the afternoon is gonna be my routine. i so wish anyone would just come and acc me in the office, gonna be so lonely.

2009-09-18T14:50:00.000+08:00

using the computer in T2, freako Wifi cant work on my ipod today...

how i wish im flying with my friends, it would be so much better.

so anyway, im just talking cock here since there is still time till boarding.

Weeee~~~~

Selamat Hari Raya in advance!!!!!

2009-09-18T04:35:00.001+08:00

in about 12 hours time, i'll be on the plane SQ976.
im very very tired, my back and legs dont feel like they are mine.
in the next few days, i'll be out of internet, unless otherwise.

a break, that doesnt feel like a break.
will be like busy with shopping and eating. :D
and im gonna make it a point to swim in the morning before breakfast.
since the pool is just next to the hotel cafe. definitely not in my crazy 'wonderwoman colored' bs i wore with bel the previous time i was there. even if she can put it on fb this time round.

and as usual, im pissed with everything at home. urgh.

see you guys on monday! i should have already touch down by late afternoon, and will be at clementi woods park Sakura outlet for my bro's 21st bday dinner.

Loves.

2009-09-16T17:41:00.001+08:00

just finish my duck noodles....yucky...
been running errands at the office after this afternoon.
busy is the word....
still got so many work that i dun wanna do and i still havent pack my luggage!!!
gotta settle the luggage by tonight, tmr night i am gonna have lessons again...
boring...

i cant feel at ease when i go bangkok cos there will be a protest/riot on saturday....
urgh...neither this or that...

kinda pissed with my hair, it's quite long and my stupid clip is not cooperating with the hair, but i dun dare to try to cut it short, i cant decide between that stupid rebon or perm... urgh.., i should just leave it alone, shouldnt i?

2009-09-16T11:01:00.000+08:00

urgh, sleepy~~~
slept at like 5, 5+ in the morning, and alarm rang off at 830am.
cant take it, rescheduled the alarm at 950am
up, ... and off to clementi central to pay HDB.
and i was so tempted to buy~~~ macs breakfast...
but after the whole thing, i didnt! cos my brother is sick, and i thought it would be nice that i dun eat good food in front of him...muahaha. :(
so in the end, finally randomly made up my mind to get duck porridge for him and duck noodles for mummy and me.
and note, the porridge and noodles, come from two different duck stores..
wheeeee...

and i had to stand right in front of the macs for 5 mins to wait for my bus..
i managed to be firm not to buy milk tea or milkshake even though i was like so thirsty and feeling sooo warm with this kinda weather.
so i tweeted in front of macs while the bus came.

this message above is just to show how bored but sleepy i am, after i got back home, feeling so warm and lazy to switch on the aircon again and get back to sleep.

at the end of MSND Act One.

2009-09-16T01:27:00.000+08:00

my favourite quotes:

- Things base and vile, holding no quantity, Love can transpose to form and dignity.
- The course of true love never did run smooth;

2009-09-15T23:13:00.002+08:00

went to work today. met some 'brothers' and have been dizzy and nauseous since then.
it was one of the few times i've been so affected by it. lalala.............................................

sometimes, the responsibility to be told a secret to is too big for oneself to be able to take.

this quote has been coming back to me recently,
the course of true love never did run smooth. - A MidSummer Night's Dream, Shakespeare.

im gonna read the book again now. :D

sept 14.

2009-09-14T23:39:00.000+08:00

the 17th time im going through this day.

thanks erynne ;D, the first to sms me at 12 sharp, and eliza who also msn-ed me when she reached home after a very tiring day working and wishing me a big happy bday.

i thank the others who gave me well wishes through Facebook.

managed to sleep till 2pm. feeling a little recharged.
then off to tiongbahruplaza for a short kaikai before the family meets up for dinner at Rajah Inn.

this blur sotong charmaine is just so funny today, haha. we'll meet up after i get back in town and go eat tybm and go bowling ok? as well as to gossip, teehee...

i will be flying to bangkok this friday, and will be back on the 22nd? my bro will be spending his 21st bday on the 21st there. i just hope he stops nagging when we happen to drink over there.
and before i leave, i so hope my debit card comes so that i can sign when i go shopping over there.

i cried once tonight.

2009-09-14T02:14:00.005+08:00

killingg that stretch(& ONGOING) of fucking ants sucks big time!!!...

URGH!! they are freaking hell moving into my house!!!

of all the apartments of the same level, why choose mine???

imagine the stretch of ants about half way through your house and they are moving along the common corridor outside, from the stairs. those big black ants are forming an almost obvious BLACK line.

URGH!!!!!!!!!!! im getting super choked with the insecticide smell.

anyway, have been in the office all day EVERY SINGLE DAY, with nothing to do. feel so bored.

come BUG AND BOTHER me people!(btw, sometimes i appear offline to hide from people, im kind and i dun wanna block them you see... :P)

time in hours and seconds have been passing slowly, but time in days have been passing so fast.

i had the chance to read through my whole diary today.

from waiting of my o level results, till posting results, till spending the whole feb in china, till busy with work and admission to RP, till start of school, till good times with classmates, till wonderful parts of july and august, till end of UT3s, till now, nine months. it all seemed like yesterdays.

i had a lot of emotions running through me when i read through the diary, im glad that i was strong, for myself.

when i finally turn 17 at 2.20pm today, i will find myself with nothing much change, still not living life for myself.

another thing, i've never like celebrating my birthdays.

2009-09-12T22:35:00.003+08:00

i took the chance to talk to my mum over dinner.

i guess im probably BACK in this RP game.

is this a good or bad news?

2009-09-12T17:17:00.002+08:00

i hate how this feels...

funny it seems, it feels like im having an affair.

to me, you and her are not my friends of the day, it's friends for life, if not years.

im beginning to lose faith in this friendship. i dont want to.

2009-09-11T23:23:00.000+08:00

i'd rather deceive myself.

2009-09-11T19:47:00.002+08:00

fuck you. just fuck you....

i really see no meaning, tolerating everything on this fucking world....

i cant even fucking tolerate myself....

screw photoshop, screw Windows OS, screw Acer..............

i cant continue, i really cant continue anymore.

2009-09-10T23:31:00.007+08:00

nothing feels the same now...

nothing feels right now...

nothing feels okay when i cannot bitch openly with you two.

nothing can make me feel anything now...

nothing beats the memories we share...

nothing hurts me the most when i have to know that we can only have memories and nothing else...

nothing can make me happy now...

i dont care how many times i've said this, i dont care how you understand and do not want me to say, I am sorry that things have turned up this way. I am sorry to the two of you.

it has been hard for me to not mention/think about you two when i see/talk about things like McDonald's, my iPod, nail polish, people's dressing sense, etc... it's just so weird to not tag you two in my fb note (please do it)...

i want to wish you the best as you work for these few days so much.

i want to chat with you and know how are you since i have not talked to you after the incident so much.

10) i miss you too.

JUDGE.

2009-09-10T02:22:00.005+08:00

JUDGE.

i cannot judge how you judge your interpretation to be correct of this word because i dont even dare to use the word.

how dare you judge me? how could you know anything about me? how could you possibly know anything about them?

i have no mood, nothing at all to update. now, it made feel more to want to hide myself in a box and not open up.

i wanna f her too...but im stuck in the middle... i cant do anything now can i?

2009-09-08T22:41:00.002+08:00

in, out, up, down....in wadeva directions you want.

the funniest questions are abt the relationship. gd it just cant get off my head.. haha...

i think i have to remember this day? it does and doesnt serve a purpose of keeping this in memory you know.

argh...

all i know is im drained off of everything energy i have after insufficient sleep and mood swings and travel here and there from the start of the day,and im torn apart, with very, very tired eyes now and very very throbbing headache.

sorry anyone to wadeva things/changes that has happened today.

i mean it.

sorry that eliza cant reach me on phone the whole day for an answer.

just a really short one...im really fucking tired..

2009-09-08T03:48:00.004+08:00

today, i had a real great, fun, nice day. all thanks to eliza&liwen, erynne and whoever else that made today happen!

i really really appreciate it and i really really thank you all.

thank you for the treats and the humongous biggest card i've ever received and the tissue flower.

thank you for making the MFM people sing the birthday song so loudly. lol

LOVES.

random rants.

2009-09-06T12:59:00.003+08:00

(not a rant but)HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOLIN!

im totally PMS-ing now, im grumpy and annoyed, the minute, ...ok, still grumpy and annoyed.
so what if i have a gold watch, you dun like it? GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY SIGHT.
i cant even sleep in on a perfect sunday.
so you tell me, when is the perfect time to chat on the phone with my friends, if all day long, im trying to entertain you, and when you dont allow me to talk to them in the wee hours when we're some kinda fine with it?
no, i shouldn't stop thinking abt my friends, i should stop thinking abt my family.
i should prepare to provide for myself when the day has come.
i should just lock myself, in a box, in total darkness, with no airflow.
IM STILL FEELING VERY GRUMPY AND ANNOYED.

Yes, I know what I have lost, I really lost myself.

2009-09-05T00:42:00.002+08:00

back from KL last night, though the plane was delayed an hour. had been real busy, managed to get some shopping done at the airport anyway...

have not been updating cos i have been playing games...haha...thanks to sabby who introduced me them. so stuck at it now, leading me to insufficient sleep as well.

woke at 4pm today and went back to the office. boring dude.and im feeling quite grumpy cos my period is late, and i freaking hell look like im pregnant. I NEEDA EXERCISE!!!

im gonna go back to my game now~~~~...

(PS. cant wait to meet eliza and erynne on monday!)

2009-08-31T05:02:00.001+08:00

just fuck my life.

updatee.

2009-08-29T22:38:00.003+08:00

was asked to update blog by mei nu...

i got nothing to update man...

im eating calbee mayonnaise crackers now...just finish watching the news.

and amused that my mum is so jealous of eliza these days.

1) last night's dinner was great(?). if only the world was simple as last night, putting everything back in our minds and just enjoying the meal, laughing, joking around, laughing at each other getting drunk. little did we know that it wasnt as happy as we thought.

2) i miss my friends, suddenly feeling quite empty now... miss eating at foodhaven with erynne and eliza.

i miss amber, bolin, charmaine, dorcas, ralene. when's our next tybm meeting? i know one of us surely cannot come out one.

say hello to a new addition in my adidas bag collection.

Adidas Core Teambag E44277

mine is in army colour.little ugly but sure it's big enough.

2009-08-26T05:29:00.003+08:00

cool, raining again, heavily...

5.29am in the morning and im still fucking awake again...

i could just use the time to do something better.

can someone just pull me out of this shit?

---------------------------------------------------

im so fucking sorry, erynne... that i missed your message and school today.

im just so bad at words, so bad at saying sorry..

and im also sorry that you lost your phone.

---------------------------------------------------

fucking outta here.

2009-08-23T22:07:00.002+08:00

im so screwing myself...

finally being able to sleep at 6am and i totally slept through sunday till 9.47pm

didnt wake up for breakfast, for lunch and for dinner, so now im just hanging there halfway.

i dunno wad to do man. guess i will just wake and wash up and eat and stay awake through the night.

2009-08-23T05:47:00.000+08:00

ok, im fucking bored and tired. but i cant get to sleep...

come on, like what time is it? 5.47am

im like totally just staring into blank and blasting music softly alone in the room.

what is wrong with me? what the heck am i thinking? what shit is stopping me from sleeping?

so much for wanting to catch up with some quality rest over the weekend.

i totally seriously look like some asshole, with very disheveled hair, and just so fucking tired.

i've already finish looking at my wardrobe, and matching every single piece of top to wear.

im so pathetic that im laughing at myself, cos i was laughing at myself.

fuck.

random

2009-08-22T01:10:00.002+08:00

time flies.

dun wonder why, there's no reason.

it went, it came.

beauty world macs has fucking lousy routers.

im being so gay.

i need a new playlist in my iTunes, songs of my age.

i lied.

i wanna sleep.

im so tired.

im looking at tickets and accommodations for bangkok again.

im pissed.

i miss amber who did my note.

im finding pictures for my msn dp.

dun see me online?that's because I BLOCKED YOU.

it wasnt a mistake to avoid, cos it was to save me.

i needa check price for external HDD.

im craving for Starbucks Choc frappe.

2009-08-19T18:38:00.003+08:00

so ytd was the last day of school...woke up, woke the chiobu up...

then to school, i went IT helpdesk and configure my laptop, on the last day of school....haha...

first class meeting, i was just fiddling with my ipod haha...and then to trcc...

collected laptop and started second meeting, not doing work too...busy setting up my laptop.

lunch time was playing around and singing time. SWINGed erynne with shangeetha...haha...dun be angry with me ok...caught up with eliza and 'lunched' in class....sent her to bus stop and back for third meeting. btw, out of topic, it's time to bitch~!(but im kind, i just wanna comment) why must you be so criticizing even on the last day of school? you think you're better? sorry but i dun think you are any better than me through this four months ok. thank goodness i dun have to face you anymore.

managed to slip through presentation by crapping and really, thank you Wendy for giving me a C even though i had forgotten to do my RJ and evaluation. after school, went to 'study' for UT. we really tried to study? ended up foodhaven and doing something else. then to office i go and home.

finished up setting up my laptop, transferring of files and stuff (that made me remember nothing abt RJ), done by 2am. slept by 3.

today woke up later than i wanted to, left house by 830?, and to eliza house i go. had macs breakfast there and off to school we go...walking in the school at 11am sharp like we were walking on our grandpa's road.telling myself, Enterprise UT3 is gonna be fine...south canteen-ed after UT, acc erynne to eat and chat with ryan...haha...then to Westmall for UP!!!damn funny and cute can...haha....now in office....dunno whether will stay till tonight or not.........................

2009-08-19T02:05:00.003+08:00

sorry that i cried. it just had to hit me hard today. i couldnt hold back anymore, but i did try my best to control myself to not to cry in public anymore.

i know crying in public is not good, especially when you are in the food court and no one knows what's going on. i will remember to hold back till bedtime, when no one is noticing, like how im dealing with now. im breaking down, and it's not gonna heal back fast. please give me some time to numb myself, and act normal again.

2009-08-17T10:02:00.003+08:00

the way to start the week? to put on masks and act like nothing has happened.
what comes out of it? nothing but acts and lies.
at abt 845am, made the decision to partial...just 15mins into the lesson today and that's it...
i feel that im so pathetic, so pathetic.

was it a mistake to not cut deeper two years ago? was it a mistake to run away from everything and end up having such a fucked up life now? was it a mistake to take everything the way it comes and not question it even if it was wrong?

i have so many questions in my head running... everything that is driving me to a dead end now, was everything that made me survive through the years.

im a bird without legs, not about having freedom, but about no legs to land on safety; grounds. so i have to fly hopelessly, no matter how tired i am, so that things can still fall on me. when i dive down, i dive down straight, into the ground.

2009-08-15T23:07:00.002+08:00

2009-08-15T01:13:00.003+08:00

if you cant stand me, do me a favour, help me get yourself the fuck out of my life. it wasnt my choice to be in yours too.

so,after the talk, bus-ed to woodlands mart. the stupid atm machine there is also not working....anyway, ate macdonalds. erynne babe accompanied me to the dentist who i want to kill now, and, she chose PINK for my bands. so, im officially pink-ed. then walked her home, and bus-ed home...
very tired, sleepy sleepy... RJ-ed, bathed, napped, chatted, blablabla, now sleep....so tired!!!!!!!!!
why am i so tired???

KPKB

2009-08-14T17:05:00.002+08:00

So today woke up late haha, Erynne chio was earlier, rather rare eh. Anyway maths was as usual give the i-dont-understand-care face. First break was at haven, the food tasted like total shit. Couldn't even finish like1/4 of it. Class after that.. one hour of boredom and break 2 was about 'knowing my own school'.lol. Practically went haven for waffles, Atm to withdraw but no money inside the machine(how ironic lol .__.), south canteen, koufu and lastly the library. We actually found some spots that couples can make out HAHA. :P

Half of the class went off after 2nd break so it was left with 2 group. Damn nianoya(no idea what this is,lol) Khairul joined our group and lead to group discommunications. The faci asked a tad too much questions, everyone couldn't think but gave the shot anyway cos it was the last lesson for maths. :D Finished earlier than we thought it would be, before 3pm. Slacked with the rest, sing Celine Dion- My heart will go on HAHA cheryl can really sing can. Eliza, we should go kbox next time with our xiao meimei okay? HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE.

Oh yes, this talk is so redundant,might as well don't think to go. But for the sake ofCE points...

Cheryl put on P.I.N.K braces bands okay later? :D Luvv luvv.

ERYNNE OUT.

2009-08-13T23:32:00.003+08:00

so it's either im really sick or not paying attention......

eliza never come school, eriani late.. -.-...i no strength to nag them liao la...

so, today was science, practically slacked whole day....I DUN REALLY WANNA GIVE A DAMN ALREADY.

normal routine, walkabout in foodhaven...and i was not allowed to buy drinks... :(

back to class, uber fb-ing...and resting....

then lunch time 'kenna drag' to trcc to buy lunch...no soft drink but got iced tea...better than nothing....

so you get why it is $4 now my dear eriani?

ate outside class to avoid puking upon seeing some people...only noe how to curse curse curse...

fucking bloody turtle only started presentations after 2pm...(after i made noise..HAHA)...

cube field all the while...and off class...went to office, sleep sleep sleep....really luckily brought scarf..if not really cannot breathe with jacket on....home at 9pm...ate poopie sh*t dinner...took medicine....tv-ed, now chatting with eliza....she now cough cough cough....): ...

tmr got dentist appt at admiralty at 7pm...so i guess im gonna linger around CWP as time pass...haha

2009-08-12T22:17:00.001+08:00

why wont my fucking sickness just kill me?

2009-08-12T21:14:00.003+08:00

sick~~~~

besides the freaking flu and cough and throat infection, i fucking develop a high fever overnight.

woke up at 630am in a very uncomfortable way, felt very giddy the moment i stepped down the bed.

quicky took biscuit and a damn big cup of milo and took medicine.

although all my medicine were drowsy, i didnt expect to be so drowsy till i can sleep anywhere, and anyhow, on the chair while eating breakfast, while squatting down on the floor.

i've been sleeping all day, no matter where i was.

fever has been in and out, in and out. i'm still not feeling better.

perspiring even in air-con surrounding.

feel so weak...feeling very grumpy too~~~

2009-08-12T01:26:00.003+08:00

sicky sick...medicine medicine...

SO SORRY PRINCESS I PASSED THE GERMS TO YOU.

rest ok babe.

why do i always pass germs to you people???...T.T...

2.19am. so today i was quite irresponsible, was sick but still went to school. but i had the courtesy to cover my mouth most of the time when i could control my sneezes and coughs ok...

i've been coughing my lungs out...feel some wheezing too...so sick...

totally felt asleep on bus to office and then in the office. went to SilverCross to see doctor and was given normal flu and throat infection medicine. so im not that sick, given mc till friday. checked on both erynne and eliza to see if they were fine but sorry, eliza, you caught the germs. i really feel bad ok...same goes to erynne when i passed her the last time. now, my drowsy medicine are making me sleepy and stuff so i guess im off...ciao...

2009-08-10T18:59:00.007+08:00

so apparently, no car wanted to bang me. therefore, im here to update my blog.

why is it just so hard to have a 45min run and a cold bath after that?

just fucking pissed...no car to bang, no peace while running.

imagine exactly full TWENTY mosquito bites on your f-ing body.

totally, if someone gives me a clean blade, im cutting myself.

someone just fucking hell tell me why i should continue to live in suffering and crying everyday.

*reason number 1: 'it's enough of you loving others, you should now open up and accept others' love for you.' thanks friend. but, ...

9.25pm-just being random, sorry erynne i cry-faced you just now.

10.02pm- can someone just stop me from crying??i cant do anything. why is my life so screwed?

thanks erynne, i know you're there too.

Hi.

2009-08-10T17:10:00.000+08:00

Hi, how should I address you? Erm ok, hi my first and only ex, happy
birthday. I was actually hesitating to reply when you msned me last
night at 3.55am. So, we talked, till 5am. Having some things sorted
out, I'm very glad. I think some of the funniest things is that it was
good that we forgotten most of the things. Another is that we were
confused whether it was four, five, or six years ago. Sorry I couldn't
remember much. And so much abt our only two pictures together. I
thought this talk was good, though I've been stuffing alot of 'haha's
to fill in the blanks. I mean, we have never been really talking for
this long. Throughout this draggy 'painstaking' four five years of
relationship, never once right? Life's great, alright. It would really
be great for both of us to let everything go. Haha.

:D, Cheryl.
(ps. I purposely kept a record of our chat last night to refer if
need. )

2009-08-10T00:44:00.002+08:00

i think im really shocking myself, seriously.

this feeling comes striking, and for this time, it's real.

why am i so shocked? i dont know what to do.

2009-08-09T18:18:00.007+08:00

JUST ONE MORE FUCKING SHIT AND IM RUNNING AWAY FROM HOME.

guess i just found some perfect lyrics. WELCOME TO MY LIFE- SIMPLE PLAN

To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you

9.53pm..i want to cry badly...just want to cry...not enough emo songs.

ps, thanks eliza, for letting me know you'll be there for me, just like i am ok. you just made me cry cos im touched. i dun really wanna go for prog too cos my ut2 sucked alr. i will not say dun want to pics anymore. ... lovelove too

to you two bitches.

2009-08-09T05:03:00.003+08:00

what a night to laugh and smile nonstop, to a freaking screen that is...

thanks eriani and eliza for bringing my smile back to my face...

crazy facebook-ing of cube field, and notes and comments...and msn dp and messages were all around tonight. not forgetting My Happy Ending, and I Know You Want Me, eriani.

dear eriani and eliza, i really, really treasure our friendship and really, really thank you two for putting smiles on my face, and letting me have beautiful memories. i cant imagine how days are gonna be when we split class. life in poly would never ever be the same without you two bitches. thanks for making me, such a innocent, not yet 17y/o girl, become a nasty bitch, and let me have crazy fb note-doings, my first visit to a chalet party, my first orchard 'shopping' in years, my first meal at NYP macs, my first real pool playing, my first visit to new marina square and flyer, the funny nasi lemak meetings@foodhaven, my cool bus rides to and fro woodlands, the fun taptap challenges, fun singing in the bus and whatsoever that makes up the happy memories wonderful. we shall continue to have fun in the remaining days ok? i promise i will try hard to not hide at a corner and crying while see any of you laughing at your screen. haha, and please try hard to come to school all days to let this come true. i dont mind making more calls in the morning to wake you two up, and rushing you two out of the house to be early for school. love you two...

xoxo, Cheryl.

it's been hours and im still smiling like a fucktard to a screen.

just bored

2009-08-08T17:19:00.005+08:00

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
(i dun agree with education part though)

Your view on yourself: You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love: You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education: Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you: You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success: You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of: You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self: You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

2009-08-08T01:48:00.005+08:00

i really wanna let everything out here, but i dont know wad's holding me back.

that feeling just... engulf me from everything. and the next thing i know, the right opposite feeling comes striking, leaving me torn and tired. i've cried, lesser times this week, praying that i'll be just fine, putting on masks to be smiling and laughing. i dont know if i need someone to pull me out of this shit, i wish i knew how it feels again. this is the beginning of the long weekend, without anything to distract and keep me busy, i dont know how im gonna survive through this.

before i have no chance to say, love you all.

fb quiz.

2009-08-08T01:02:00.001+08:00

Your Result: You are the ultimate cryer

You cry for every reason. You are a weekling. You are extremely easy to hurt and cry about everything. It's a good thing to cry, but if you cry too much you're eyes will hurt. You should probably not cry so much, but dont hide your feelings either, just dont be so dramatic. It causes people to either feel sorry for you or create harsh thoughs about you. So, try to cry a little less and let out your feelings at the same time.

lalala....

2009-08-07T22:18:00.002+08:00

today cognitive was slacky.....super slacky....
eriani and i, or maybe just myself, were facebooking all day...
went to foodhaven for breakfast today...had chicken macaroni cos they had no bubur or however eriani babe spells it...but she whine whine whine abt how bad the food was and HOW HER APPETITE WAS RUINED and played with it. like i didnt feel sick finishing my own share of macaroni. she got her retribution anyway, had spilled root beer over herself. and so, i started nagging at her...haha...GO AND EAT.

till second break, she finally chose to buy roti john and ate some(but still whine, 'Where's my daily dosage of MAYO~?'). then we went outside classroom till 130pm. she dunno doing wad, laughing like crazy, and slept on bench. haha..

went back in to help to finish ppt. and then played msn games with my dear pri 1 cousin, randall. time really flies dude.

end of class, no one to walk with so lonely, luckily met Sabby who acc me till my bus came.

haha..thanks Sabsab...went to office, and did wad i had to actually do earlier this week. kenna scolding, damn sad la...

ate dinner, wait for 8pm and go home....

settled down, tv-ed, now nothing to do, ka-jiao-ing eriani...hehe...having fun arguing and changing DPs..hha...

very bored!!!!!!!

2009-08-06T23:47:00.003+08:00

so fuckedup today.....just f this emo shit....the way to get it out of my life is that i should just go jump down....
seriously, if i one day cant take it and i jump, i apologise to my friends and family here first...
sorry that you guys have to go through this f-ing shit life with me and stuff. i just dun wanna share, dun want anything....i cant even fucking hell cry to anyone. fuck this 16 years of life man. im just so f-ing lost....

today left with house with eriani babe's balloon hitting my head like wad....met eliza who purposely be early at school to be earlier than eriani....so went into class like nobody's business like that....
then eriani pop into the class just when i wanted to stand next at the door and gave me a big shock.
so passed her the balloon and her card....hehe....then gossip gossip with eliza....first break foodhaven with them and just this f-ing emo thing struck again....then after school went to flyer to treat eriani babe Popeye with eliza...i like totally dunno where the hell we were can....after eating went back to marina square to play arcade...both of them with their guitar, drums and their parapara....then after that, took 960....eriani and i blasted what i had on my ipod and it was just totally fun....fast,oldies,fast,oldies....all the way....and so eliza dropped at her place and i acc eriani back to woodlands...we just had this crazy sing-along and that f-ing song just made me wanna cry...reached woodlands...i lazy to take bus so i took train home...homed....settled down....continued nagging at eriani...
*do RJ do RJ do RJ.....stop fb-ing.....dun care photos....hahahah....*
did RJ and started FB-ing...eriani, you just have to 'hurt' me again... :(
now cant get to sleep, while my siblings has gone to fetch my mum from the airport.
end of life....and of wallet.

and also just wanna say thanks to both eliza and eriani for like 'bringing me out these days and open the big world to me' haha....xiaomeimei yong yuan ai ni men....i really had fun and really hope we keep in contact after we split class... :)... LOVES.

2009-08-06T12:03:00.006+08:00

hurt so bad; why?

bye.

1337hrs- still not feeling better.

2009-08-06T08:30:00.000+08:00

happy erynne day. loves you.

crazy week.

2009-08-06T00:15:00.003+08:00

this week, is so crazy...monday, mama flew off and will only come back on thursday.
monday, i didnt wake up to go school...in the afternoon, was 'made' to meet eriani and eliza and go to NYP macs, all the way from clementi.
then, tuesday went to school.went to timah to acc eliza to alterher pants. dragged eriani along.
went to eat prata, and played pool. pool, my first time really playing pool, not to say legally. really first time. damn cool man. after collecting pants, eliza went home and i sent eriani back to woodlands. haha...she super lucky man. spent only one bus fare, got free prata, got free pool to play, and a free ride home. haha...
*and thanks for acting as my support so i wont fall down. XD*
i didnt need another performance in the bus.
*and you will be the first to know when i turn into a guy ok*
and i bus-ed to clementi central and went kaikai for a while.
wednesday(today)-i did NOT plan to skip school today. i had three alarms, and my sister waking me up, but i just went back to sleep....sorry eliza, that 'i MIA-ed from you.' haha...
woke up, lunched, and went to cut hair. said byebye to my thick hair...then went to bpp to buy dinner. wrong timingly, i went all the way back home to deliver dinner and grab some colour pen and went all the way back to bpp to meet eliza. settled down at macs and i ate d. cheeseburger while she ate alot of shaker fries. called eriani babe and tricked her saying that we were at woodlands and would drop by her place to meet her.
in the end, it was proven that eriani is very gulli...i mean very simple-minded. right babe?
so i went home...hopped on to my sis bf car at the entrance of the carpark and back home...
settled down and tv-ed...and eriani babe laughed when i asked her that she trust eliza or my chinese. wished her happy birthday and got ready for bed...wad im waiting now, is to finish translating for dear eliza and pack bag and sleep. haha

SUPERHEROES, STAND UP!

2009-08-04T15:05:00.003+08:00

2009-08-04T08:21:00.003+08:00

hi 'stranger', thanks for correcting me the correct number of years we were at on my July18th post.
thanks for still being able to remember this freako that has appeared in your life.
so anyway, if you are still waiting for the acceptance of request in Facebook, please continue waiting. Let me think about it. You may be able to view some of my profile through your friend CSX, whom i dunno why i added her for.

2009-08-02T22:55:00.001+08:00

FUCK YOU LA ACER. FUCKING GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE.

2009-07-30T08:33:00.001+08:00

have not been updating....too lazy, too tired....
talk abt this week, monday was formal-wear day...so everyone was quite nice looking.
took alot of pics up at facebook.
then tuesday, school as normal, met ryan and sarah after school, and went to dover together.
ryan and i continued to Fairfield for service prac as well as dinner date with Miss Pam.
it just felt so good to be back there, not that some people are worth mentioning abt...
so after the prac, the three of us took a bus to Holland V and embarrassing things just have to happen to me in public...
the stupid bus braked so hard that i did a swing, yes, a 360degree swing. how embarrassing that was.
we ate at ThaiExpress and because of Ryan's comment, Miss Pam took the bill....sorry Miss Pam, Thank you Miss Pam.
both of us still gonna stuff you the money back on friday anyway...
quite fun and weird at the same time...i mean, it's good catching up but felt a lil weird eating with your ex-teacher.
so went home with ryan,by cabbing. we were like argueing which is the nearest bus stop and 'if only it was 8,...'
we quickly took a glimpse at the time and yay, we took a cab...
and after takinga nap that night, i woke up with flu...
it got worse the next morning with cough and sorethroat, so i didnt go school...since it was programming too....
had NO point going at all...so went to office and eriani called me to ask if i was in class...excepted that they not in school...
cos eliza didnt make noise when i didnt wake her up...
worked whole day ytd, and still didnt feel better...
now im like in school, with everyone like not happy with me like that, giving that shitty look.

2009-07-25T01:59:00.002+08:00

couldnt wake up and so didnt go to school today(fri)
woke at 12 and off to office i went.
it was such a super boring day with nothing i can do cos my lappy not with me...
could only facebook but nothing much there...
ate dinner and back home...
chatted here and there, nothing to do...
tv-ed, stoning...now, on bed, browsing facebook and trying to find things to do to make me sleep(like blogging)....
seriously bored.........................................................................

2009-07-23T23:39:00.000+08:00

today was 'great'...first,crying in class. next, made someone else cry. followed by making myself feel so much like dying.
milktea-tunasandwich-ed with eriani during the first break..then facebooked all the way until i went partial...
reached BW and lunched with uncle and aunt.
started preparing and stuff while my feet totally hurt...so long never wear heels and now standing the whole day with heels was hell
i have like three blisters now...and that the kids have been accidentally and purposely stepped on my feet.
right, so when there were lesser people, i was like doing RJ and FB notes...haha....
then packed and home...settled down, totally cant feel my feet anymore....
now very very tired....needa sleep to wake tmr...
and trying to not think so much for the time being.

dont fucking judge people when you are not qualified to do so.

2009-07-22T20:05:00.001+08:00

im going through all these shit, alone, all by myself.
if im gone, im still alone, but happier.

signing off.

2009-07-22T19:55:00.001+08:00

still in office, final deco for tmr...
using? my mum's lappy, of which i have to take serious care of it.

woke up late today, same as eliza and eriani.
haha...so met up and ate at food haven. nasi lemak.
went to class after that and we were all alone....
and i was trying to find windows for the whole day to jump....
decided to partial after eliza kept nagging...
they decided to keep me accompany cos i had no where to go and outram was too far for me.
hung out at W1L1 then to Subway.
thanks girls.
headed to office and deco and deco and deco...
but i was so tired, really felt like sleeping.
and i think i got flu or something.
and i bloody hell always kenna scolding for nothing. like f*, if you got pms, then zip your mouth.

2009-07-21T22:56:00.002+08:00

im totally screwing up my whole life.

i can only blame myself.

i've made a mistake tonight and i stood up bravely and admitted.

i was told how much disappointment i was and i seriously know i deserved it.

im such a total jerk..

people, stay away from me....

Before my ipod battery dies too.

2009-07-21T17:21:00.004+08:00

updated@9+pm

-------------------------------------------------

dear friends, if you want me alive and in good mood the next time you see me, please pray for me..

-------------------------------------------------

The day sucked. The new faci sucks. Toward the end of school nura was
so much in pain, transfering the pain in squeezing my jacket and my
hand. Haha. Not complaining but to show how much pain she was. Poor
girl. And she still insisted to take train home when she can faint
anytime. I stuffed her money and brought her to taxi stand with all the others after I
almost fainted too. We made irfan send her home. Haha. Now I'm in
office for final stretch of preparation for opening on Thursday. Yay.

-------------------------------------------------

thanks eunice for the convo tonight. i really appreciate it and i really hope that it happens to all my friends who needs it. im proud of it but i will never be arrogant/stuck up with it because it comes from my heart.

2009-07-20T23:42:00.002+08:00

finally settle down, on my mama's bed.

end of school, chatted with girls for a while then headed down to vivo for ICE AGE 3!

ate TYBM before the movie, ended up very full.

anyway, Peaches and the three small dinos are just so cutie!!!!

haha...made my day man...waited 15mins for a damn cab and homed...

quickly did RJ and nura's note at Facebook and off to bathe.

now searching for things to do and finding things to eat..

yes, im hungry now. hungry for everything.

listening to emo songs too. roar!

and searching for notes and quizzes to do on Facebook

2009-07-20T12:11:00.002+08:00

fuck, i just cried again. thanks girls for making me cry and consoling me.

yes i noe i should open up and share but, i cant.

thanks.

my eyes are kinda quite tired now, though i only cried for a very short while.

feeling empty, feeling very tired, might just join the friends that you guys mentioned while eating lunch.

THUMBS UP.

2009-07-19T00:13:00.003+08:00

何韻詩公開認係同性戀者

【18:09】2009年07月18日【on.cc專訊】何韻詩（何C）接受電台節目《十人巷》訪問，被主持人森美與陳志雲以抽籤形式抽出題目發問，森美看見題目即呆了一呆才問：「你係唔係同性戀？」何C爽快直接地回答：「係！嘻！遊戲之嘛！」
事後記者再追問何C是否承認是同性戀者？她說：「呢個問題大家已經問咗好多次，我亦答過好多次，呢個年代對於呢個話題冇乜特別，呢一刻你可能喜歡男仔，但一年之後你又可能喜歡女仔。」
on.cc

fucking cool shit...that's why i love goo...

five years ago.(AS CORRECTED)

2009-07-18T22:33:00.005+08:00

seriously, if you ask me what was i doing now five years ago(AS CORRECTED), i cant answer you, but after i went through my blog(which didnt help) and through his, i could remember having a friend happening.

four years ago, young, innocent, in 'love' for the first time. and i totally have no memories in my mind. i cant remember the things we had done but we were happy? if im not wrong, 'you and i', started when you popped the question while we were having lunch together on dunno which day. was it a mistake? it all ended soon after.

dun ask me why im going through this, i just felt like saying these, out of sudden, even though i never ever acknowledge our relationship in front of any before. sorry if im hurting you again by bringing this up. flashbacks of our happy times just kept coming back since the beginning of this month. then i looked back, into your blog and friendster, etc. remembering sweet messages from you led to hurting messages from me. remembering the rejected calls led to remembering you banging your hand/head into the pillar in anger/sadness after i crushed your letter. were we still together that coming CNY? you never gave up waiting for me after we made a promise to wait for four years to pass while i just felt that agreeing to that promise was to solve the problem in short term. when you gave me that super-oversized ring, i didnt noe wad to do cos it was like after we broke. in the end, you kept the ring.

all these years i've tried so hard to avoid you(so hard, neighbour) and you tried to not upset me further. now that i've moved away for six months, the conflicts between us increased a lil and stays the same like forever.

thank you for absorbing my selfishness, thank you for your love, thank you for waiting. thank you for moving on.

2009-07-17T22:54:00.003+08:00

yes, Erianibby updated her blog after i told her to but she's lazy....and updated my fugly pictures on facebook..

back from office, been cleaning the signage and stuff...in the end, my nails are ruined...

so tired...crapped up my RJ...

i just cant quiet my heart down, this feeling sucks.

and thanks eriani for the song. :D

2009-07-17T10:36:00.003+08:00

totally not listening in class....in second meeting now and im in facebook and blog-hopping...

ELIZA not in school today... :P. tuna-sandwiched and milk-tea-ed with eriani.

just not interested in class today... wanna CS after so long....................................

class so small today.

cheer up friends, loves.......

2009-07-15T23:41:00.003+08:00

totally wanted to not wake up in the morning...so comfortable but still, i did... :P

woke up 20mins later than usual but still very early, first to reach the class.

today was a total mess...programming's really getting on our nerves and UT is just tmr....

so lost..........felt like going partial so much, BUT i didnt, unlike someone! haha...

went to office after we were dismissed at 3pm, the freaking bus came 20MINS after i started waiting....crap.

had Macs, then RJ-ed, slacked, 'packed', and i f-ing hell fell off my chair and landed on the floor with a loud bang...and now, there's a f-ing BIG bruise on my poor butt.

then dinner with Serene at Prince, and so she was so lucky to meet the legendary 'silent person'...seriously affected our appetite...anyway, we were just laughing our heads off in the restaurant.

homed, bathed, now waiting for hair to dry and off to sleep...

tmr have to fix up 2 more pantry cupboards at the office, need some energy.

ciao.